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It's now one of new breed of family-friendly spas across the country, replacing herbal cures and laxatives with hammams and waterslides.

Therme Erding's changing rooms – some unisex, some segregated – lead out to Tropical Paradise.

But to the naïve eyes of my wife and I, the scene seems almost Bacchanalian, a hedonistic playground as painted by Hieronymus Bosch.

Hundreds of happy bathers aged from 18 to 80 splash naked in 34C healing springs.

Instead they're sitting at Therme Erding's pool bar wearing nothing but an electronic wrist tag, which tots up how many half pints of local Erdinger lager they've supped through the night. It's a classy Center Parcs – with frankfurters, but without the clothes.

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Young German guys are the exact opposite; they’re style-conscious, thin and freakishly tall.

As the country readies for a general election in 2017, the shadow of Cologne looms large, with the ruling parties toughening their stance on immigration.

' Blanket punishment' For Merkel, who had won praise for opening Germany's borders to those fleeing conflict and persecution, it was a nightmare start to the year.

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