He did not like the open-ended, variable timetable of my illnesses.Neither did he want to start with a ‘deficit’ before even trying for a child. I take the train out to NJ to meet with the rabbi I work with, and we stand on the bima in the empty sanctuary and make our way through the fat holiday prayerbook, practicing, arguing over the details, bursting into occasional songs from (yes, really). On the train, on the way to our meetings, I get this familiar urge to read old journals. The high holidays, Rosh Hashanah (our new year) and Yom Kippur (our time of repentance and renewal), are a soul-searching, gut-wrenching, emotionally complex time. He got me the most beautiful roses and we had this amazing evening where he read me his latest paper and told me about his meetings he’s had with these famous professors who are big supporters of his work, and it’s really amazing how successful he is.” And you distinctly remember that you always had this tremendous itch to take a red pen with a thick tip to practically every line of every paper he’d written. In my journal, over and over, I mention that my dad is not doing well, but I can’t read those entries, so I skip over them and look for more boy gossip. It turns out that mostly, for most of my life, I have thought almost exclusively about boys and nothing else. Accidentally, though, my eye catches on a brief piece that is just a conversation between my mom and me. (There’s always more.) He has the same reactions, too. I am beginning to prepare to lead high holidays services, the way I do every year. We sing in harmony sometimes and we grin the whole time. The interesting thing about a journal is that you can totally tell where you are lying to yourself. Where you don’t actually like your boyfriend, but you’re still writing “He is the most wonderful person I have ever met. I signed back up for my online dating accounts and immediately noticed a hiccup: How could I expect to date someone if their profile pointed clearly to a lust for adventure, spontaneous road trips, and scuba diving?Did my obsessive focus on healing foods and supplements count as their search for "someone healthy"?I stopped dating, since being alone was just easier, and it felt good. I'm not healthy now, but I'm not nearly as sick as I have been.
” So I thought I’d address it once and for all, by first asking – would I, as someone with chronic illnesses, date or marry a healthy person?
Everyone is entitled to how they want to live out their own lives, for better or for worse.
I once dated a man whose greatest desire was to start a family of his own, and it troubled him that I never seemed to get better.
What kind of relationship do you have where you don't know what kind of injury she has sustained? I got sick..really sick - the flu - about 3 weeks after my BF and I had met, and he had made plans to come over that night.
I called him and told him how sick I was, and that I felt terrible - I explained that I didn't want to get him sick, but I SOOO very much wanted to see him. He said that if we were going to be in a relationship, that being sick was just part of the package, and he had no plans to change his plans, as long as I wanted him here. (I should add that we went totally apesh*t over each after our first date and I realize of course that that doesn't happen often.)What kind of relationship do you have where you don't know what kind of injury she has sustained? I got sick..really sick - the flu - about 3 weeks after my BF and I had met, and he had made plans to come over that night.