What DID surprise me is that, after the initial chemistry rush, Janie settled into a low-intensity pseudo-relationship that didn’t leave her at all satisfied. If he doesn’t follow through fast enough or often enough, make a mental note: “Hmm… I may have casually seen my wife for the first 4 weeks of our relationship, but I would always email the next day to say I had fun. Which is why I wasn’t at all surprised when she met a man only two weeks into our coaching sessions. Application of this made-up “rule” is surprisingly simple. He calls, he texts, he emails – you just “mirror” his efforts and give him enthusiasm and warmth every time. Why is a man not clamoring to reserve his weekends for you, or take you on a short vacation, or meet your friends and family? I need a man who is looking for a relationship and you don’t seem to be that guy. and to be a sucker for hanging around when you’re merely (and clearly) his “once a week” girl.(LTK): What do people need to know about the first stage of dating?(LG): The purpose of stage one is to determine if there is enough chemistry, commonality and interest to warrant dating.
The first time you exchange those three little words. Still, there are a host of firsts many couples ignore—the ones that you almost didn’t notice were momentous occasions until much later on. There’s a huge difference between giving a guy six weeks to choose you over the other women he’s dating… You win this one by assessing his efforts and concluding that you’re wasting your time.The rule is: if one person wants a relationship and the other hasn’t decided what they want, there should be a time limit on how long you should be tied up in the dating zone.Because I know women and men are different when it comes to…well just about everything, I asked three guys how long it usually takes for them to decide if they want a commitment. They all agreed that if they are consistently (keyword: consistently), dating someone for about six to eight months, that next step should be coming soon. Every situation is different, but I’ve never dated someone consistently for a year and it ended in a relationship.And her frustration is what spurred me to write today’s post. You imply that you should get rid of the guys that don’t call regularly and make it obvious that they want to date and pursue a relationship and yet in the book you mention that you didn’t take your wife on a proper date for the first 4 weeks and how great she was that when you did call she was nice and said yes to whatever you proposed doing…and you ended up married….which is why women put up with flaky guys and “bad behavior”, holding out hope that it will change and turn into something serious. Or do you move on to the next guy because this one isn’t making much of an effort? But if Tanya is finding this grey area to be a bit too grey, then I have to acknowledge that perhaps I can do a better job of explaining it. So why does a man only call or text you once a week to make plans? If he expresses no interest in escalating the intensity of the relationship… So don’t worry about how much you like him, how strong your feelings are, or anything like that. Did they “see you” once a week for six months and suddenly declare their love? Potential boyfriends act like potential boyfriends. So give a guy 6-8 weeks to figure out his feelings, if necessary.