Oh, he still calls and texts every day – little things like “how was your day? He mostly talks to her on the phone and complains about his life. And ever since – surprise, surprise – he’s been a little bit emotionally distant. Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it.” ~William J.Durant I’m all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.The problem is that this particularity varies from day to day and often, even hour to hour.When you basically spend your entire childhood in a house with only adults — who you couldn't possibly relate to — you tend to direct your focus inwards and on yourself.The ups and downs in this cycle can make you feel like you are unbalanced and have whiplash.While it can be fun to go on a bunch of dates with different people, it can also make you feel like you’re floating alone on your own little island of solitude.
In short order, I asked Paulina to do three things: o Tell me what she likes about Matthew. After a bit of deliberation, she concluded that she loses two things: The fantasy that this once-promising relationship would work out.
Paulina is in her early 50’s – thin, blond, whip-smart, and sophisticated. ” or “I’m really tired” – but the spark is long gone. Most importantly, Matthew hasn’t made any overtures to see Paulina since their first meeting. When we talked about things, I learned that Matthew is a kind, attentive man, but he’s a bit socially awkward. Mostly clueless, selfish things, somewhat like a 12-year-old boy.
She worked with me last year and came back once she found a promising relationship. Distraught, Paulina is desperately trying to figure out how to rekindle their relationship. As a result, Paulina spends most of her relationship wondering why things can’t be better, easier, more fun, more supportive.
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